those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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