Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
