just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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