I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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