In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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