If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
