The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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