I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
