Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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