Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
