I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
