i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
