I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
