??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
