Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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