he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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