Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My ass is underappreciated
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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