DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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