loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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