it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What a dumb baby whore.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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