was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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