Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
