everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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