You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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