names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
