Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
