that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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