considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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