Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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