Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize