there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
