try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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