i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
