i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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