I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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