Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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