Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
