Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I can't put those talents on a resume
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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