for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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