Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
