3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
