so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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