did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
