did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
