Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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