Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
