in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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