:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
