Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
