the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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